im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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