Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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