Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
