Already got asked if we're dating
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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