i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
