so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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