I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
