So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Welp...herpes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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