$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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