You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My sheets look like a crime scene.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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