You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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