elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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