Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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