it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
