I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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