Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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