I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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