The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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