It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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