i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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