and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize