would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
