NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
did you just send me my own nude
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
