shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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