If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
