The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
