Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
