did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
