After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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