I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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