Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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