I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
