Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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