I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
