I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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