Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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