Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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