she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
