I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
