You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
