At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
