legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
