She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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