Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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