Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
