So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
