Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
