it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
