Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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