haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
