hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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