i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize