I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
