my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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