Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
