Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
