She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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