You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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