He is an equal opportunity slut.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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