Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
