it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
