I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
