So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
