okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
