my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
