so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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